Please excuse me for jumping right into the points without bothering to add an introductory paragraph about what it means to be scared, how am I dealing with being scared all the time and what am I doing differently to face my fears head-on. No, this article is not a life hack, it has no solution at the end of it, no light at the end of the tunnel. Truth be told, I don’t know yet.
- Talking on the phone in the presence of someone. I can never speak on the phone when I know that someone can listen to what I am saying. I never pick up my phone in public places or in my living room.
- Driving in the night on empty roads with large trees looming over like a giant circus tent. Serpentine highways with no street lights on a moonless empty sky.
- Hospitals. The stench of fresh blood mixed with disinfectant and laced with stale hope. It makes my senses go numb with an indescribable fear which pops out from the smooth bed of sadness inside me. The sound of the steel stretchers on the cold concrete floor, the heavy tension in the air, the looks on everyone’s faces as if they saw a ghost……hospitals are a reminder in stone and brick that we are all perishable items.
- Oh, the thing called eye contact. Why is it not included in the third-degree torture curriculum of the interrogation rooms? Why do I have to look straight into your eyes when I am narrating an interesting story to you? or why do you have to look so intensely into my eyes when I am talking? Don’t you see I am getting nervous jitters? That my brain is almost on the verge of collapsing by the pressure of your stare. It is nerve-wracking to be able to look into someone’s eyes, talk and yet make sense like an adult.
- People, negotiations, confrontations. small talk. Don’t have the nerves to explain them. They just turn me into a soft ball of anxiety.
The list is endless, I am scared of most things in life. I could have started and ended the article with just one line “ I am scared of everything. except for spiders”
